wildaspie

We found each other last autumn.

It’s simple enough to say I have never met anyone like him.  But that is deceptively simple.

We have a lot in common, and are similar in many ways.  And in another person, those similarities would probably cause problems: many times I have found that when some one shares certain personality traits with me, there is no room for give-and-take.  Those very similarities force distance rather than forging closeness.

Perhaps it is the difference in our ages that makes it possible for me to overcome that potential pitfall.  I have always dated older (sometimes very much older) than myself, in part because I am drawn to the wisdom and self-assurance that comes with age and experience.  But “my” technopunk T is younger than me, which puts me in the rare position of being the older, maybe wiser one.

Although he modestly self-depreciates his intellect, he has that same spark of brilliance I can’t help but respond to; his skill with computers is intuitive to the point of technomancy.  He pursues knowledge and reads as voraciously as I do – and despite our affection for each other he never lets me get away with sloppy logic or compromises his own point of view simply to be “nice.”

Neither of us has any interest in the pabulum of pointless social prattle.  Sometimes we spend hours in discussion, ranging widely in topic and tone; other times we simply “hang out,” each of us mostly focused on our own projects but keeping communication open, even if it is mostly an exchange of smiles capped by hugs goodnight.

And sometimes, there are the intense, sweet interludes of physical affection.  All this is more than I could have ever hoped for in a friend and lover; and yet, I am further blessed by the fact that he is – to use the vernacular – damn hawt.

I try not to think too much about it in general … I am just thankful each day to have a friend like him, and thankful too when we can be “friends with benefits” … Now and then I do find myself contemplating a future wherein he has come to join my family, and somehow I manage to cheat the odds again and have a happily ever after with two wonderful men and my children.  But those thoughts are always brief, and fleeting.

If nothing else, I have learned that the fastest way to ruin happiness is to overthink it.