wildaspie

I just don’t have enough time in a day for everything I want to be able to do.  If there were just a few more hours, maybe 10, that would be great.

I end up in a cycle: I push myself, then get exhausted and fall behind, then push myself harder to catch up.  I have been trying to simplify and just do those things I know are most important to me, but one of the problems I have is that everything seems important.

Maybe I just don’t know how to prioritize.  I think I do, but if I can’t manage all my projects (which there really aren’t that many of), then maybe I don’t.  It wouldn’t be the first time I thought I understood the meaning of a word and found out everyone else had a different understanding of it …

My bff and fwb both tell me I am trying to do too much.  Even my neighbor laments the plight of the American Mom: we’re expected to raise children, manage homes, work, and still find time for relationships and self-enrichment.  And just wanting to be able to do it all isn’t enough.  So I have learned.

Today was really an awesome day. It started out pretty rough, as I tried to get the template for my other blog to behave how I wanted it to. I had found the “perfect” template at a free gallery, but made the mistake of choosing one developed by some one whose first language was Portugese. so the comments were not in English, and a lot of what I needed to do was hit and miss, trial and error.

But finally I got it fixed, and even managed to make it better than what I had first intended. And I was so pleased with myself I danced around the house, singing silly songs about how mad my coding skills are.

Then I went grocery shopping with the neighbor, and it turns out she needs help with some homework, which is well within my realm of experience. So I will be able to put some of my otherwise languishing administrative skills to use, which is a nice thing to look forward to. She also mentioned a job she will be starting soon, and there might be an opening for me as well. So that’s pretty cool too.

But better still, we got the tax return much sooner than I expected. It’s such a nice surprise when looking at the bank account to see more money than anticipated instead of less!

But best of all, I get to end the evening chatting with my technomancer hawttie.

So today is an awesome day. Just awesome.

Sick yesterday and feeling kind of down today.  Made the appointment to take the dogs to the only shelter in the area that has room – Husband said to keep calling around for a place that can take them before the 24th, but I just can’t.  The calls I already made were hard enough.

It’s a no-kill shelter, but they require a $50 “donation” per animal – doesn’t matter that a big part of the reason I have to give them up is that we can’t afford to keep them.

I also have an appointment for orientation on the 12th for Personal Assistants for the Center for Independent Living; the pay is crap but the work is light, mostly just providing company to elderly folks.  I’ve done the work before and should have no problem with it again.  I’m also starting to think I need more structure to my days, and this will be a good solution.

Did manage to get the new template for my other blog set up, although it was an exercise in anger management working with unfamiliar code in unfamiliar language that behaved unpredictably – code is only supposed to do what you tell it to do, but this stuff has a mind of its own and I had to redo modules three and four times because a change some where else would completely undo an hour’s work in an unrelated portion of the script.

Otherwise, I’m having a much harder time keeping on track with my plans that I feel I should.  I have an appointment with my psychologist this Friday, but I don’t have much hope of finding any real answer during the session.  Also had another anxiety attack today despite not having forgotten my meds last night.  Maybe I’m already building up a tolerance or maybe, like so many other drugs, this stuff just isn’t working right.