wildaspie

In partial homage to Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be A Redneck” jokes, here are some “You Might Be An Aspie” one-liners:

If you run Windows as an application on your Linux OS computer, you might be an Aspie.

If you know the full medical history of autism spectrum disorders and have three valid examples of why every single indicator is either arbitrary or evidence of advancement of human evolution, you might be an Aspie.

If you know exactly who Temple Grandin, Donna Williams, and Tony Attwood are, but draw a blank on names like Britney Spears, Puff Daddy, and Paris Hilton, you might be an Aspie.

If you had kids partly to be able to buy cool toys, you might be an Aspie. Twice as much if your kids can’t play with them because you hog them all the time.

When someone says, “Now take a minute and picture in your head [something or other],” you wonder why it would be necessary to suggest it, because you always have pictures in your head, you might be an Aspie.

If you choose the grocery aisle that you go down based on whether or not there are any other people in that aisle, you might be an Aspie.

If you think cataclysm is a really great word. Catamaran, catatonic, catalyst, Catalan, catalogue, catastrophe are all great words, and they start with CAT, which is neat, too. Patagonia is a neat word, too. And sassafras.

If you do an Internet search for a poison ivy remedy and spend the next three days reading up on string theory because one link led to another, you might be an Aspie.

If some people think you wear the same clothes every day because you have eight identical shirt-and-pants outfits, you might be an Aspie.

If thinking of the title of a song immediately starts the song playing on a audio track in your head and you are helpless to stop it until the song is over, you might be an Aspie.

More fun YMBBAIs at http://www.geocities.com/autistry/YMBAAI.html